I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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