I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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