yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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