Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
