We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
