i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
