Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
