I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
