I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
