Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
