That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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