I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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