I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize