i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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