She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
