fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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