Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
