I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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