I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize