I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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