I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have post one night stand depression
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
