Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize