Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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