It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
