i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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