i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
