At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
