That's intense
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
