Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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