Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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