I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
