ugly people sure do ruin things
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sorry my hands just texted you
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
