I think I died a long time ago.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
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