This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
