I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
