What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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