this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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