Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
