You work out of a Hotel?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize