distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
