He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
