dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
