I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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