please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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