Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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