I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
