laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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