she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
