i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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