no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i think my cat just said my name.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
