I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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