Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
