im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I am morally bankrupt
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
