i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
