Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
